The type of customer you get in a coffee shop

I have had my fair experience with coffee shop customers, and hell most of you are plain rude or stupid. These are the things that hack a barista off, maybe you can have a read and learn and make the experience better for all of us.

1. The too busy to talk guy, we get it, you’re in a rush and you just want your drink. We can tell by your expensive suit and the fact you can only make eye contact with your phone, but we have to ask you if you want a cake, and frankly I’d rather shove it up your arse then ask.

2. The one who knows way more about coffee then you. “No, a cappuccino shouldn’t be this frothy, I drink it every day.” I’m sure you do, I make over 300 drinks a day, yes I’m sure you’re right.

3. The indecisive middle aged. You’re over the age of forty, it should not take you five minutes to choose between skinny or full fat milk, no seriously don’t worry about it, it’s not like there’s a queue out the door. “We’ll eat in” when you see me start traying up and getting glasses ready for your drinks, then is the time you say you want takeaway cup. Not after they’re ready. Seriously do you do it to wind us up?

4. The awkward family who wants to buy the whole store. Seriously we don’t mind you, and we get it’s hard for you too, but adding a new drink every two minutes is going to piss us off.

5. The twat who wants every specific going, “I’ll have a wet skinny soya decaf one shot latte extra hot with cinnamon sprinkes” Firstly, you can’t get skinny soya, secondly if you only want one shot, just have regular coffee and thirdly you don’t get sprinkles on a latte, especially if it’s wet. You’ve just got out of university and think the world owes you a massive favour, have fun with your two shot caffeine overload frothy latte.

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