Moving to London? The don’ts.

I’ve just settled in to the capital of England, glorious London.

And if you plan on visiting, here are some tips on how to not piss a Londoner off from experience.

  • Keep walking. If you stop in the middle of the pavement, multiple sets of eyes will look at you as if you just gave birth to Satan.3rgxbriguzet6paede
  • Do not think of buses and tubes as public transport. You’re best off going in with the mind set of ‘survival of the fittest’. 3od3ymx5s4g9ldrrnc
  • Also no eye contact, god forbid eye contact. odrlz1yuaawa8
  • And if you spend longer then 0.002 seconds getting through ticket gates, you should basically be lynched, then and there. t8wgnnzclnlyu
  • And if you bring a push chair on to public transport, be prepared for the endless tutting.


  • If someone has to repeat themselves, expect passive aggression. 9wttddli8huj2
  • Food is always served as take away, just suck it up. irrvb9i4xcjqq
  • Also don’t hold a queue because you’re complaining about something, no one here in London is happy, and they’re too polite to say anything about it so just move along.pshrpsuizlaee
  • Waiting for a Tube for longer than two minutes will cause a riot. 3t7rafhu75wwg
  • Stop taking pictures of things. As an Englishman it’s only natural that they hate our country and talk it down, so please stop. 3o6gb1pvqmdy9ysjfe
  • But remember, if you are not a native don’t talk badly of London, it would cause quite the stir.


  • And another tip, Boris Johnson is a buffoon, always. ieddih4pceam4

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